Around June and July 2015, the views for my blog started to become minute. I did the same amount of work, but had less clicks on my stats. This was troubling for me to work the same pace and have less traffic on my blog. Am I blogging for nothing? I think at first I blamed it on the summer. No one is going to sit around in front of a computer screen when everyone is vacationing and spending their time out in the sunshine. It's good weather and happy times, and no one wants to do any cooking right now or crafts or even care to look at what I'm doing because they are at restaurants eating out and too busy with recreation this summer. I also had a few other things happen. I went on my own vacation to San Diego, and spent some time in the mountains too. It was a great experience. It broke the monotony of sitting in front of a computer screen trying to come up with my next best idea by spending the summertime outdoors.
I took a break. If readers want to take a break from me, then I need a break from them too. I went a few months without any posts. I started to come up with excuses... I would blog today, but the sun is still shining. I would blog today, but I need to clean my house first, and do laundry and dishes and wipe down everything... and vacuum. I would blog today, but I probably won't get very many views. I would blog today, but I can't think of anything good to write about. I make excuses after excuses. I must be the queen of excuses because I sure know how to procrastinate.
Fall is here, October 2015 already. The leaves are changing colors. The clouds are forming, and icicles happen in the frosty mornings. We have had monsoon rains and flash flood storms. This is the change. I'm feeling the air is cooler, and it's harder to sleep at night because I can't sleep when the air is cold. Right on schedule, I am getting a few hits on my Facebook of my blog, a few more clicks on my blogger and I have added nothing special in months. Surprised? That's nice, and I go about my day, but everyday, I'm getting a few hits here and a few hits there. The readers are back. It's time to go back to work. It's time to celebrate.
The summer was a real test for me. I kept thinking that my blog was a stupid idea, a real waste of time, that I should just quit. I had people putting me down. My own mother was saying that I should do my blog this way or that way or never post anything about my family on my blog, no pictures of family, and don't do this and don't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no... everything you do is wrong. Shut it down. Wait a minute... I write this blog, and it belongs to me. If you don't like my blog, stop reading it. Go write your own blog.
I get haters. Boy, do I get haters. Especially when the blog is doing well, there are so many people that instead of creating their own blog or setting their own goals, they want to tear me down. As much as I like to forget about the haters, that too, has taken a tole on me. My love life takes a tole on me. My daughter takes a tole on me. Lack of money and anxiety take a tole on me. The death of my loved ones takes a tole on me, and it drags me down until there is nothing left. I feel like nothing, like I can accomplish nothing. I never was anything, and I'll never be anything - those are frightening and dark thoughts. Those have kept me down.
Perception is everything. Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you gotta make lemonade. Having a positive attitude can turn it all around. As I go along, and giving up is a reality, something inside tells me, "It's okay. Don't give up. Instead, give your blog all you got." Have a positive attitude. Failure is temporary, the views are there. It's going to be alright. No need to scrap this blog, everything is perfectly fine. Every blog starts at the bottom.
I am in fact my own worst enemy. I am the one that has antagonized myself into thinking that having a great blog cannot be done or that this particular blog will never be great. It can be done. I see plenty of blogs thriving, and surely with a little effort and time, my little blog can thrive too. If I have a dream, I can continue to move forward if I am willing to work hard and put forward the effort it will all work out in the end. Do I keep working or give up?
Well, of course, I keep working. I'm still here. I don't mind taking one step back to take two steps forward. That is still progress. I must remind myself from time to time that I am moving in the right direction. It's okay to take breaks. It's okay to have a life outside of blogging. Sometimes those breaks make a person come back stronger, and that's what I need right now. For other bloggers that are struggling, don't worry about all the negativity. Keep moving forward, and you're going to take it to the top. Failure is your tool for success. Use it wisely. Always, always believe in yourself.