Around June and July 2015, the views for my blog started to become minute. I did the same amount of work, but had less clicks on my stats. This was troubling for me to work the same pace and have less traffic on my blog. Am I blogging for nothing? I think at first I blamed it on the summer. No one is going to sit around in front of a computer screen when everyone is vacationing and spending their time out in the sunshine. It's good weather and happy times, and no one wants to do any cooking right now or crafts or even care to look at what I'm doing because they are at restaurants eating out and too busy with recreation this summer. I also had a few other things happen. I went on my own vacation to San Diego, and spent some time in the mountains too. It was a great experience. It broke the monotony of sitting in front of a computer screen trying to come up with my next best idea by spending the summertime outdoors.
I took a break. If readers want to take a break from me, then I need a break from them too. I went a few months without any posts. I started to come up with excuses... I would blog today, but the sun is still shining. I would blog today, but I need to clean my house first, and do laundry and dishes and wipe down everything... and vacuum. I would blog today, but I probably won't get very many views. I would blog today, but I can't think of anything good to write about. I make excuses after excuses. I must be the queen of excuses because I sure know how to procrastinate.
Fall is here, October 2015 already. The leaves are changing colors. The clouds are forming, and icicles happen in the frosty mornings. We have had monsoon rains and flash flood storms. This is the change. I'm feeling the air is cooler, and it's harder to sleep at night because I can't sleep when the air is cold. Right on schedule, I am getting a few hits on my Facebook of my blog, a few more clicks on my blogger and I have added nothing special in months. Surprised? That's nice, and I go about my day, but everyday, I'm getting a few hits here and a few hits there. The readers are back. It's time to go back to work. It's time to celebrate.
The summer was a real test for me. I kept thinking that my blog was a stupid idea, a real waste of time, that I should just quit. I had people putting me down. My own mother was saying that I should do my blog this way or that way or never post anything about my family on my blog, no pictures of family, and don't do this and don't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no... everything you do is wrong. Shut it down. Wait a minute... I write this blog, and it belongs to me. If you don't like my blog, stop reading it. Go write your own blog.
I get haters. Boy, do I get haters. Especially when the blog is doing well, there are so many people that instead of creating their own blog or setting their own goals, they want to tear me down. As much as I like to forget about the haters, that too, has taken a tole on me. My love life takes a tole on me. My daughter takes a tole on me. Lack of money and anxiety take a tole on me. The death of my loved ones takes a tole on me, and it drags me down until there is nothing left. I feel like nothing, like I can accomplish nothing. I never was anything, and I'll never be anything - those are frightening and dark thoughts. Those have kept me down.
Perception is everything. Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you gotta make lemonade. Having a positive attitude can turn it all around. As I go along, and giving up is a reality, something inside tells me, "It's okay. Don't give up. Instead, give your blog all you got." Have a positive attitude. Failure is temporary, the views are there. It's going to be alright. No need to scrap this blog, everything is perfectly fine. Every blog starts at the bottom.
I am in fact my own worst enemy. I am the one that has antagonized myself into thinking that having a great blog cannot be done or that this particular blog will never be great. It can be done. I see plenty of blogs thriving, and surely with a little effort and time, my little blog can thrive too. If I have a dream, I can continue to move forward if I am willing to work hard and put forward the effort it will all work out in the end. Do I keep working or give up?
Well, of course, I keep working. I'm still here. I don't mind taking one step back to take two steps forward. That is still progress. I must remind myself from time to time that I am moving in the right direction. It's okay to take breaks. It's okay to have a life outside of blogging. Sometimes those breaks make a person come back stronger, and that's what I need right now. For other bloggers that are struggling, don't worry about all the negativity. Keep moving forward, and you're going to take it to the top. Failure is your tool for success. Use it wisely. Always, always believe in yourself.
Love,
'Lissa
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Friday, October 23, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Dancing in the Pioneer Day Parade
In order to dance for Dance Magic in the Pioneer Day Parade, we had to buy the shirt that matches everyone else. We had to buy a few more things: black shorts, white tennis shoes, and a yellow bow. Not to mention the other parts that needed put together like hair, nails, and make up. Dancing can be like a sport; it's very demanding. Not only is dancing physically demanding, it is also visually demanding. I definitely felt the pinch because everything is so inflated price wise. It seems like the little things cost so much. Each mom is trying to make their kid feel more adequate by buying them nicer things. They are curling their daughter's hair or painting their nails. I wondered how many thousands of dollars that all of the parents paid just to have their children march down the street? It seemed like when it was all added up, there must have been a great deal invested into all of the kids. Most of the kids that dance come from middle class families. Each of the parades that the kids go into is quite an investment.
The day did not feel very hot, especially to those that were sitting in the shade, but when a person moves to the sunny side, it can be ten degrees hotter. When it's hot and the kids are dancing under the bright sun, they work up a sweat. I cannot stress how important it is to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. Many of the kids were exhausted by the end of the dance. This picture of Main Street in Cedar City, Utah is the same location of the Main Street that was remodeled by Amy Grant on a show called "Three Wishes." Many of the light poles, trees, and other external structures were improved and have become more mature from years ago. Some of the city events have attracted quite a lot of media and tourism. It's a real honor to have Nicole dance in the parade.
I apologize for July being so late posting. My views have been down mainly because I believe that people have just been busy playing and having fun in the summer sunshine. It's been cooling down now and so I'm catching back up on my blog posts and will have more to report. Thank you for being so patient with me. I will be more prompt with my posts.
Love,
Lissa
Clapping Hands and Marching Down the Street
I am new to this. I've never had Nicole dancing in a parade.We were supposed to meet between a two block area between a local gas station and a local hotel. We parked far out because the street was shut down, and then we walked uphill to the Dance Magic parade float. We arrived on time, and there weren't very many kids there. After a few minutes of waiting, there were fifty or sixty kids, and by the time the parade started there were about 100 or more kids that were riding the parade float or dancing. I was able to get a short clip of Nicole's dancing. It was a breezy, sunny day. By the end of the parade, Nicole was sweaty and hot from dancing. I was very proud of her.
American Flag on Pioneer Day
The day did not feel very hot, especially to those that were sitting in the shade, but when a person moves to the sunny side, it can be ten degrees hotter. When it's hot and the kids are dancing under the bright sun, they work up a sweat. I cannot stress how important it is to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated. Many of the kids were exhausted by the end of the dance. This picture of Main Street in Cedar City, Utah is the same location of the Main Street that was remodeled by Amy Grant on a show called "Three Wishes." Many of the light poles, trees, and other external structures were improved and have become more mature from years ago. Some of the city events have attracted quite a lot of media and tourism. It's a real honor to have Nicole dance in the parade.
I apologize for July being so late posting. My views have been down mainly because I believe that people have just been busy playing and having fun in the summer sunshine. It's been cooling down now and so I'm catching back up on my blog posts and will have more to report. Thank you for being so patient with me. I will be more prompt with my posts.
Love,
Lissa
Monday, July 6, 2015
American Flag on the 4th of July 2015
Many of my family members served in the U.S. military or are veterans of the service. For us, the 4th of July isn't just a regular day. It has a powerful meaning. As a military family, we put our lives on hold to put service before self. We said "good-bye" to our loved ones to go on long and dangerous deployments. The red, white, and blue has a whole higher level of meaning to those that have put their lives on the line to ensure that we, as Americans, continue to be one of the most prosperous nations in the history of all time. When a person sees the flag waving in the wind, and hears "The Star Spangled Banner," they put their hand over their heart. Members of the military salute the flag and others sing along.
I'm not sure what kind of snake this is. I think it's a water snake, possibly a Western Terrestrial Garter Snake. Most likely the snake came up from the creek. We first saw the snake 4th of July and gave the ladies a good scare. These snakes are non-venomous. The snake was removed to a different area.
I have heard that some dogs have the potential to be very emotionally intelligent. I'm not a trained psychologist, but this Australian Cattle Dog appears to be depressed. The emotions of this breed of dog would be an interesting study. I've always wondered if they have a higher capacity level of thinking compared to other domesticated dogs. Australian Cattle Dogs were first brought about in the late 1800's by crossing domesticated Australian Dingoes with cattle dogs. Australian Cattle Dogs were known to be highly intelligent, obedient, high energy and were bred to nip or bite at the heel of cattle. Even when this pup is tired, he's still very alert. He's definitely thinking about something. I wonder what's got him down?
We had a great 4th of July. It was so peaceful listening to the sounds of the creek. Every now and then fish would jump in the water or there would be a family of ducks swimming along. Sometimes along the rocky walls, there were hoards of colorful chipmunks and squirrels with fully stuffed cheeks. Various kinds of birds would land at the feeding areas. Everything was so alive. Come to think of it, I should have taken more wildlife pictures. I guess the picture of the snake will have to do.
I would go back to the mountains again anytime. It was a great visit. There was so much to see and do there. Thank you for reading. We are going to San Diego, California in a few days so watch for new posts.
Love,
Lissa
Unfortunately, certain family members do not want ANY pictures of them on my blog so I'm doing the best I can to show our 4th of July without people pictures. I had plenty of great family pictures, but I can't share any of them. I'm not sure of all the laws. I will have to read more up on the rules before I post. Maybe at a later date I will be able to share more. These are my pictures of an undisclosed mountain location in Southern Utah where my family celebrated 4th of July.
American Flag on the 4th of July
Western Terrestrial Garter Snake
I'm not sure what kind of snake this is. I think it's a water snake, possibly a Western Terrestrial Garter Snake. Most likely the snake came up from the creek. We first saw the snake 4th of July and gave the ladies a good scare. These snakes are non-venomous. The snake was removed to a different area.
Australian Cattle Dog or Blue Heeler
I have heard that some dogs have the potential to be very emotionally intelligent. I'm not a trained psychologist, but this Australian Cattle Dog appears to be depressed. The emotions of this breed of dog would be an interesting study. I've always wondered if they have a higher capacity level of thinking compared to other domesticated dogs. Australian Cattle Dogs were first brought about in the late 1800's by crossing domesticated Australian Dingoes with cattle dogs. Australian Cattle Dogs were known to be highly intelligent, obedient, high energy and were bred to nip or bite at the heel of cattle. Even when this pup is tired, he's still very alert. He's definitely thinking about something. I wonder what's got him down?
Fire Pit and Dutch Oven Cast Iron Pot
Stairway to the Creek
Marigolds and a Flag
I would go back to the mountains again anytime. It was a great visit. There was so much to see and do there. Thank you for reading. We are going to San Diego, California in a few days so watch for new posts.
Love,
Lissa
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Wildflowers on the 4th of July
The wildflowers were in full bloom across the rocky hillsides. My mom wanted to use the flowers for a bouquet center piece for the tables. She had worked all day tying red, white and blue bows to the deck, and setting out the table cloths and runners so that everything would be perfect for a backyard barbecue. Everything was fancy, but it needed that extra touch, a display of American patriotism
I'm not sure what all of the different wildflowers are named so I won't try to go there. I will just say that every flower that I thought was beautiful, I took pictures.
Our final mountain wildflower bouquet was a burst of colors. Nicole and Aunt Anne put small river rocks into the bottom of the vase to help position the flowers. We poured cool water over the rocks, and then we placed the wildflowers into the refrigerator. When we first got these wildflowers back to the cabin, they were badly slumped over. It was a real depressing sight, but when we placed the flowers into the refrigerator, they all perked up and lifted. The cooler air helped to preserve the flowers. They looked very nice on our table.
I am thankful for all the beautiful colors and all of the great adventures that we had collecting and assorting flowers. It was a real pleasure to be a part of this. Keep reading. I haven't even gotten to our big 4th of July party. Thank you for following along.
Love,
Lissa
Utah Wild Mountain Daisies and American Flags on the 4th of July
I'm not sure what all of the different wildflowers are named so I won't try to go there. I will just say that every flower that I thought was beautiful, I took pictures.
Grandma Patty (mom) and Nicole out cutting wildflowers.
Ellie is so patient and loyal. She sits on the rhino and waits for everyone to get back.
Utah State Flower The Sego Lily
Our final mountain wildflower bouquet was a burst of colors. Nicole and Aunt Anne put small river rocks into the bottom of the vase to help position the flowers. We poured cool water over the rocks, and then we placed the wildflowers into the refrigerator. When we first got these wildflowers back to the cabin, they were badly slumped over. It was a real depressing sight, but when we placed the flowers into the refrigerator, they all perked up and lifted. The cooler air helped to preserve the flowers. They looked very nice on our table.
I am thankful for all the beautiful colors and all of the great adventures that we had collecting and assorting flowers. It was a real pleasure to be a part of this. Keep reading. I haven't even gotten to our big 4th of July party. Thank you for following along.
Love,
Lissa
Monday, June 29, 2015
The Last Hip Hop Performance of Summer Dance Camp
Hip Hop class only lasted two weeks this summer, just two weeks in June. Some classes have to be entered at beginning, intermediate, and advanced levels, but really, with Hip Hop, the levels can be within age groups so any person starting out with a Hip Hop class can be with their grade level, and not have to worry too much about the technical skills. Nicole was in the older girl's class. She is only ten years old, but tall enough to be with girls that are older than herself.
Each person had their own spot and places to be. All through out the dance routine the girls moved around in different places. For the most part, Nicole stayed in the background. This was a little troubling to me as a parent. I could not understand fort the life of me why they would not at least have each girl feature themselves and their skills. I felt like they were hiding my daughter. She is way out in left field.
At the end, Nicole had more of an important part. Nicole and another girl had to lift the girl in the pink shirt. The girl in the pink shirt did the splits in mid-air and spun out in ballet turns. This is Hip Hop or ballet? I shook my head for a minute. I really think the girl in the pink shirt is more of a ballerina.
In every dance studio there are dancers that are the favorite, but what do you do when your child is not the favorite?
I was expecting that there would be some girls that caught on rapidly, and others that were going to struggle with the steps. Nicole was newer. and she struggled. Nicole, who just started dance a week ago was not at the same experience level as kids that had been dancing with Sunshine Dance since they were five years old. It's a lack of experience, not lack of talent. Nicole needed more experience, more time to develop her skills. I wanted the dance studio to work with Nicole, not leave her in the background or make Nicole a backup dancer to their favorites. I decided I have a valid complaint.
When a mom approaches a dance choreographer with a problem, I think they should do so with caution. I talked to the manager of the dance studio, and she already decided what she was doing with the Hip Hop routine was perfectly fine, and made no changes just gave excuses condemning Nicole, "She's not advanced enough... Her legs aren't strait enough... She turns the wrong direction... She is too uncertain of herself..." Trying to convince the dance studio owner that leaving kids in the background was the wrong thing to do in dance was just alarming, insulting, and unprofessional of me. Who was I to correct a studio owner?
Who am I to voice my opinion? I'm a mom, and my opinions matter. This is my little girl we are talking about. Of course my opinion matters... I think this tears at a little girl's self-esteem and self-confidence. These are the pre-teen years where girl's form opinions about themselves in comparison to other girls. It sets the stage for a girl's transition into becoming a young lady. Psychologically, it can be traumatic for a little girl to feel inferior to her peers.
Lucky for us, this was the last Hip Hop class of the summer so arguing about it like I did pissed off a lot of people at the studio when the outcome was the same. There were no more Hip Hop classes to complain about. I should have kept my mouth shut because all the arguing really didn't matter. It was the end of the season anyway. I could have moved in more stealthy and not said a word, but generally, I'm not the type that likes to be pushed aside. I am ambitious and prefer front and center even if I have to fight for it. I wanted Nicole to have more of a role in the dance team.
Rejection is common for new dance moms. There were three dance moms from the richer areas of town that were somewhat clique too. They didn't seem too kind to outsiders, especially not mouthy outsiders that liked to argue like myself. As if my daughter, along with every new child that enters the dance studio, is a threat to the self-esteem, self-confidence and dance development of their own child. The dance moms are not very welcoming to newcomers. I felt like there was an impenetrable wall that the more permanent dance moms placed around themselves to keep me (or any other new mom) and my child (or any other new child) out. Instead of being introduced to the other dance mom's in a friendly way, my daughter and I were looked at as competition, as a threat. With the insecurity of the other mom's, what threatens them most is my daughter's talent. Nicole is smart and catching on quickly. There is a good possibility with more experience that Nicole will pass the other dancers up and become featured. That is the other dance mom's worst fear.
We are considering leaving Sunshine Dance and going over to Dance Magic instead. I've already talked to Dance Magic on my own because Sunshine Dance does not do parades. I wanted to see Nicole dancing in the parade July 24th (Utah's Pioneer Day Parade), and Dance Magic is now choreographing the parade dance. The group routine is the same for everyone. No one in particular is featured. My daughter is treated as an equal, and so far there has not been any squabbling among the mothers. I'm making friends with the other moms at Dance Magic. Nicole is working hard on her steps and fitting right in with all of the girls at Dance Magic.
I am so proud of Nicole's abilities. She is a wonderful little dancer with so much talent. She loves to dance. I don't have to push her or force her to be a good dancer. Nicole is determined to do well on her own. Even with struggles like these, she pulls right through like a champion. It didn't phase her at all. She got right through her Hip Hop class, and kept going. For a ten year old girl, Nicole has the right attitude. I am a very proud mother.
Thank you for reading and following along, and thank you for being so patient with all of my posts. Stay tuned and subscribe by email to find out how Nicole's dancing in the Utah Pioneer Day Parade on July 24th turns out.
Love,
Lissa
Nicole is in the very back of the class at Sunshine Dance Studio. :(
Each person had their own spot and places to be. All through out the dance routine the girls moved around in different places. For the most part, Nicole stayed in the background. This was a little troubling to me as a parent. I could not understand fort the life of me why they would not at least have each girl feature themselves and their skills. I felt like they were hiding my daughter. She is way out in left field.
At the end, Nicole had more of an important part. Nicole and another girl had to lift the girl in the pink shirt. The girl in the pink shirt did the splits in mid-air and spun out in ballet turns. This is Hip Hop or ballet? I shook my head for a minute. I really think the girl in the pink shirt is more of a ballerina.
In every dance studio there are dancers that are the favorite, but what do you do when your child is not the favorite?
I was expecting that there would be some girls that caught on rapidly, and others that were going to struggle with the steps. Nicole was newer. and she struggled. Nicole, who just started dance a week ago was not at the same experience level as kids that had been dancing with Sunshine Dance since they were five years old. It's a lack of experience, not lack of talent. Nicole needed more experience, more time to develop her skills. I wanted the dance studio to work with Nicole, not leave her in the background or make Nicole a backup dancer to their favorites. I decided I have a valid complaint.
When a mom approaches a dance choreographer with a problem, I think they should do so with caution. I talked to the manager of the dance studio, and she already decided what she was doing with the Hip Hop routine was perfectly fine, and made no changes just gave excuses condemning Nicole, "She's not advanced enough... Her legs aren't strait enough... She turns the wrong direction... She is too uncertain of herself..." Trying to convince the dance studio owner that leaving kids in the background was the wrong thing to do in dance was just alarming, insulting, and unprofessional of me. Who was I to correct a studio owner?
Who am I to voice my opinion? I'm a mom, and my opinions matter. This is my little girl we are talking about. Of course my opinion matters... I think this tears at a little girl's self-esteem and self-confidence. These are the pre-teen years where girl's form opinions about themselves in comparison to other girls. It sets the stage for a girl's transition into becoming a young lady. Psychologically, it can be traumatic for a little girl to feel inferior to her peers.
Lucky for us, this was the last Hip Hop class of the summer so arguing about it like I did pissed off a lot of people at the studio when the outcome was the same. There were no more Hip Hop classes to complain about. I should have kept my mouth shut because all the arguing really didn't matter. It was the end of the season anyway. I could have moved in more stealthy and not said a word, but generally, I'm not the type that likes to be pushed aside. I am ambitious and prefer front and center even if I have to fight for it. I wanted Nicole to have more of a role in the dance team.
Rejection is common for new dance moms. There were three dance moms from the richer areas of town that were somewhat clique too. They didn't seem too kind to outsiders, especially not mouthy outsiders that liked to argue like myself. As if my daughter, along with every new child that enters the dance studio, is a threat to the self-esteem, self-confidence and dance development of their own child. The dance moms are not very welcoming to newcomers. I felt like there was an impenetrable wall that the more permanent dance moms placed around themselves to keep me (or any other new mom) and my child (or any other new child) out. Instead of being introduced to the other dance mom's in a friendly way, my daughter and I were looked at as competition, as a threat. With the insecurity of the other mom's, what threatens them most is my daughter's talent. Nicole is smart and catching on quickly. There is a good possibility with more experience that Nicole will pass the other dancers up and become featured. That is the other dance mom's worst fear.
We are considering leaving Sunshine Dance and going over to Dance Magic instead. I've already talked to Dance Magic on my own because Sunshine Dance does not do parades. I wanted to see Nicole dancing in the parade July 24th (Utah's Pioneer Day Parade), and Dance Magic is now choreographing the parade dance. The group routine is the same for everyone. No one in particular is featured. My daughter is treated as an equal, and so far there has not been any squabbling among the mothers. I'm making friends with the other moms at Dance Magic. Nicole is working hard on her steps and fitting right in with all of the girls at Dance Magic.
I am so proud of Nicole's abilities. She is a wonderful little dancer with so much talent. She loves to dance. I don't have to push her or force her to be a good dancer. Nicole is determined to do well on her own. Even with struggles like these, she pulls right through like a champion. It didn't phase her at all. She got right through her Hip Hop class, and kept going. For a ten year old girl, Nicole has the right attitude. I am a very proud mother.
Thank you for reading and following along, and thank you for being so patient with all of my posts. Stay tuned and subscribe by email to find out how Nicole's dancing in the Utah Pioneer Day Parade on July 24th turns out.
Love,
Lissa
Sunday, June 21, 2015
My Father's Day Tribute
A Tribute to my Father
My father could be the nicest guy, and the meanest person you ever met all in one. When I was very young, some of my family were talking about my father, and they taught me that people are not black or white, but a mixture of things. Most people are a shade of gray, and that's what my father was not fully evil, and not fully innocent. He had his faults and he had his good points, and no matter what choices he made in life, he was always going to be my father. Nothing could change that. For many years I harbored much resentment towards him for mistreating my mother so badly. I was angry with the way my father treated me. He was mean and unkind. He did not ever apologize. I just learned to forgive him. He wasn't going to change so the best I could do was to accept him as he was for the good and for the bad too.
I'm glad that I got a chance to forgive him before he died. I never got a chance to say "good-bye." He was murdered in May 2008, and it is still an open case in Humboldt County California. Some people might say that his meanness caught up to him, that he got what he deserved, but I don't believe in killing. I don't believe in murder. No one deserves to die that way. No child should ever have to grow up without a father. Even a mean father is better than no father. He did his best to be there.
My father taught me how to tie my shoe laces. He taught me how to ride a bike. He took me fishing and helped me catch my first fish. He was very proud of my photographs, and had many of them with him found scattered among his things when he died. My father was very proud of me, as he was all of his children.
It's hard going through Father's Day without him. I know that people say, "Find the courage to let go of what you cannot change..." I want to know what happened, how he died. I can't let it go ever. I'm stubborn like my mom, and as long as I live, I will never let go. I will hold on to the bitter end. I know this much about myself.
My father died very young. I question my own life, if I died tomorrow, what would I have to show for it. Life is short. I realize you only have so much time here to make a difference. You only have one chance to be who you want to be, and to do the things that you love. My father's last words to me were to be honest, and be loyal. Be kind to other people. Chose your friends wisely, and don't be afraid to take risks, be adventurous.
This is my tribute to him. This day is for my father, as we remember him, we think back. This day for the is a tribute for many other fathers that have worked so hard raising their children. This day is for the single moms for pulling double duty. This goes to the foster dads and step-dads too who raised kids that are not biologically theirs, but have enough heart to care for the lives of another. Father's Day is for my Uncle Sean McKittrick, my mom's only brother, who has been the best stand in dad all of these years. Father's Day is for my mom's boyfriend, Billy Conn, who has treated all the kids like family. I feel blessed to have had many good male role models that have helped to shape me into a better person. For that, I am forever thankful.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
The Ballerina
I have a confession... When I was little, I always wanted to be a ballerina. I was very light on my feet, and loved to spin in circles around on the hard floors. I had high levels of energy, and liked to leap far. When I was little, I used to watch my friends trot off to ballet classes. It wasn't an issue of money. My parents had money to spare. I think it was more of an issue of my love of climbing trees and throwing rocks. Trying to trap a child in a stuffy ballet studio when they could be outside collecting bees and ants, and sniffing the roses, it seemed like dance class would be torture. Still, as I looked longingly on all of my friends that took ballet classes. I felt a little left out. I would not have minded going. In my whole life, I have never once taken a ballet class.
I've always loved the way that ballerinas look in their leotard, skirt and pink tights. I liked the way that ballerinas would pull their hair up high twisted into buns. They looked so light and graceful, I wanted to feel like that, like a girl. I wanted to wear lace, ribbons and sparkles. Instead of wearing anything like that, I wore jeans, chewed on a blade of foxtail grass, picked fights with boys, and could spit. I could sit off the back of a pick up truck and curse like a man. I could shoot air guns, and leap a bike off a ramp. I could hit home runs in baseball, and score in soccer, but I couldn't do ballet. I was too aggressive in sports. It didn't seem fitting for an alpha tom boy like myself to join ballet. Nicole was born more sensitive, more delicate. She has those girl tendencies, the feminine kinds. Ballet fits her they way I always wished that it could be me, she is the one that does it better.
Maybe some people will say that I am trying to live vicariously through my daughter. That due to the fact that I may not have every succeeded in dance, that I am going to push her harder to make up for my lack of talent, and they are right to a point. I couldn't do that to her without her wanting to go to dance. Nicole came to me because she wanted to dance. It was her desire, not mine. Even if she would have picked something else she loved to do, I would have pushed her in whatever direction she liked best.
When someone enjoys what they do, they become passionate about it. I think there is nothing better than to have something in life that a person feels passionate about. It could be art. It could be sports. It could be cooking or gardening or even medicine. Whatever your passion is in life, it is important to pursue it. This is what cultivates happiness. When you love what you do, the rewards are so much sweeter.
Nicole is living my dream. Strangely enough, I don't mind. I don't see anything wrong with a parent wanting their child to do better in life than they did. I have no jealousies, no resentments. I want Nicole to achieve everything that she wants out of life. I think that if she has a dream, or if any child for that matter has a dream, that that should become their goal. The child and family of the child should make the necessary sacrifices to achieve that goal and make that dream come true. You have one life to live, and so it is my purpose here on earth to make sure this little girl gets to learn all of her ballet dance positions. That she understands basic French. That she gets to plie, to releve, and to saute and that she smiles with enjoyment and is graceful performing. It's never hard work if you love what you do, it's fun. It's the best time of the day.
Thank you for reading. Hopefully, in the future, I will be able to post videos of her dance. I'm sure it will be fabulous. I cannot wait to see how Nicole turns out as a ballerina.
Love,
Lissa
I've always loved the way that ballerinas look in their leotard, skirt and pink tights. I liked the way that ballerinas would pull their hair up high twisted into buns. They looked so light and graceful, I wanted to feel like that, like a girl. I wanted to wear lace, ribbons and sparkles. Instead of wearing anything like that, I wore jeans, chewed on a blade of foxtail grass, picked fights with boys, and could spit. I could sit off the back of a pick up truck and curse like a man. I could shoot air guns, and leap a bike off a ramp. I could hit home runs in baseball, and score in soccer, but I couldn't do ballet. I was too aggressive in sports. It didn't seem fitting for an alpha tom boy like myself to join ballet. Nicole was born more sensitive, more delicate. She has those girl tendencies, the feminine kinds. Ballet fits her they way I always wished that it could be me, she is the one that does it better.
Nicole is ready for ballet class.
Maybe some people will say that I am trying to live vicariously through my daughter. That due to the fact that I may not have every succeeded in dance, that I am going to push her harder to make up for my lack of talent, and they are right to a point. I couldn't do that to her without her wanting to go to dance. Nicole came to me because she wanted to dance. It was her desire, not mine. Even if she would have picked something else she loved to do, I would have pushed her in whatever direction she liked best.
Ballerina Kisses
When someone enjoys what they do, they become passionate about it. I think there is nothing better than to have something in life that a person feels passionate about. It could be art. It could be sports. It could be cooking or gardening or even medicine. Whatever your passion is in life, it is important to pursue it. This is what cultivates happiness. When you love what you do, the rewards are so much sweeter.
Nicole has her ballet slippers and her Gatorade. It's show time.
Nicole is ready to have some fun.
We are off to practice ballet.
Nicole is living my dream. Strangely enough, I don't mind. I don't see anything wrong with a parent wanting their child to do better in life than they did. I have no jealousies, no resentments. I want Nicole to achieve everything that she wants out of life. I think that if she has a dream, or if any child for that matter has a dream, that that should become their goal. The child and family of the child should make the necessary sacrifices to achieve that goal and make that dream come true. You have one life to live, and so it is my purpose here on earth to make sure this little girl gets to learn all of her ballet dance positions. That she understands basic French. That she gets to plie, to releve, and to saute and that she smiles with enjoyment and is graceful performing. It's never hard work if you love what you do, it's fun. It's the best time of the day.
Thank you for reading. Hopefully, in the future, I will be able to post videos of her dance. I'm sure it will be fabulous. I cannot wait to see how Nicole turns out as a ballerina.
Love,
Lissa
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Sunrise in Las Vegas
After a really fun weekend in Las Vegas, Nicole and I left early about 5:00 a.m. from Las Vegas Northbound to Utah. We saw one of the most amazing skylights over the city.
Dealing with a Dance Diva
I had to bring Nicole back home after she had been playing at her friend's house and tell her to get ready for dance. Nicole screams and yells that it's just not fair, that she is busy playing with her friends. She comes home mad at me, slamming doors and telling me how she hates dance, and she's not going, that she never wants to go to dance ever, ever again. I yell at her to get in the shower. I throw her a towel and tell her to get a different attitude. She screams profanities at me, and says how I ruined her life. I scream back that I'll show her ruined -- that she's grounded for the next couple of days, no friends... That's ruined.
We had many different fights. One fight was about what kind of shoes she would wear for Hip Hop dance class. I said that she needed to wear CONVERSE. I did not care what color. I wanted that name because the kids would know the shoes weren't from Payless or Target. They were higher quality. The other thing that I wanted for Nicole was to switch the laces. We had regular black laces with her shoes, and so we switched them to hot pink.
Sometimes it works out even better when a dancer gets that moral support and boost from friends. Presley and Ivy went to watch Nicole go to work at her Hip Hop class. It was loads of fun. Nicole has her moves all worked out. She knows how to shake it (not to brag, but she learned that from me). She can jump and slide. Nicole is very strong, and has a part where she has to lift another dancer. There is a lot of spinning and tricks involved in their routine. I'm really proud of her. She is doing great. More news about her dance progress later on.
Love,
Lissa
Something magical happens that reverses everything. Nicole showers and cools down. We work together to get her dressed, pulling and tugging on outfits, tying shoes, brushing hair rapidly and tying and pinning her hair. Then something happen. She looks at herself in the mirror and starts humming a tune. She is happy as could be, skipping around even. As she checks her reflection in the mirror, she is quite happy with the results. She has totally forgotten her big blow out about how she hated dance, how she hated me for forcing her to go. It was as though I had a whole new child standing in front of me, telling me that she could not wait to dance. Hurry up, let's go!
Nicole stretching before Hip Hop class.
We had many different fights. One fight was about what kind of shoes she would wear for Hip Hop dance class. I said that she needed to wear CONVERSE. I did not care what color. I wanted that name because the kids would know the shoes weren't from Payless or Target. They were higher quality. The other thing that I wanted for Nicole was to switch the laces. We had regular black laces with her shoes, and so we switched them to hot pink.
Nicole stretches during her technique class.
Nicole is very close to doing the splits.
Nicole and Friends
Sometimes it works out even better when a dancer gets that moral support and boost from friends. Presley and Ivy went to watch Nicole go to work at her Hip Hop class. It was loads of fun. Nicole has her moves all worked out. She knows how to shake it (not to brag, but she learned that from me). She can jump and slide. Nicole is very strong, and has a part where she has to lift another dancer. There is a lot of spinning and tricks involved in their routine. I'm really proud of her. She is doing great. More news about her dance progress later on.
Love,
Lissa
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