The Ballerina

I have a confession... When I was little, I always wanted to be a ballerina.  I was very light on my feet, and loved to spin in circles around on the hard floors.  I had high levels of energy, and liked to leap far.  When I was little, I used to watch my friends trot off to ballet classes.  It wasn't an issue of money.  My parents had money to spare.  I think it was more of an issue of my love of climbing trees and throwing rocks.  Trying to trap a child in a stuffy ballet studio when they could be outside collecting bees and ants, and sniffing the roses, it seemed like dance class would be torture. Still, as I looked longingly on all of my friends that took ballet classes.  I felt a little left out.  I would not have minded going.  In my whole life, I have never once taken a ballet class.

I've always loved the way that ballerinas look in their leotard, skirt and pink tights.  I liked the way that ballerinas would pull their hair up high twisted into buns. They looked so light and graceful, I wanted to feel like that, like a girl.  I wanted to wear lace, ribbons and sparkles.  Instead of wearing anything like that, I wore jeans, chewed on a blade of foxtail grass, picked fights with boys, and could spit.  I could sit off the back of a pick up truck and curse like a man.  I could shoot air guns, and leap a bike off a ramp. I could hit home runs in baseball, and score in soccer, but I couldn't do ballet.  I was too aggressive in sports. It didn't seem fitting for an alpha tom boy like myself to join ballet.  Nicole was born more sensitive, more delicate. She has those girl tendencies, the feminine kinds.  Ballet fits her they way I always wished that it could be me, she is the one that does it better.

Nicole is ready for ballet class.

Maybe some people will say that I am trying to live vicariously through my daughter. That due to the fact that I may not have every succeeded in dance, that I am going to push her harder to make up for my lack of talent, and they are right to a point. I couldn't do that to her without her wanting to go to dance. Nicole came to me because she wanted to dance. It was her desire, not mine. Even if she would have picked something else she loved to do, I would have pushed her in whatever direction she liked best.

Ballerina Kisses

 

When someone enjoys what they do, they become passionate about it.  I think there is nothing better than to have something in life that a person feels passionate about.  It could be art.  It could be sports. It could be cooking or gardening or even medicine.  Whatever your passion is in life, it is important to pursue it.  This is what cultivates happiness.  When you love what you do, the rewards are so much sweeter.

Nicole has her ballet slippers and her Gatorade.  It's show time.

Nicole is ready to have some fun.

We are off to practice ballet.

Nicole is living my dream.  Strangely enough, I don't mind.  I don't see anything wrong with a parent wanting their child to do better in life than they did.  I have no jealousies, no resentments.  I want Nicole to achieve everything that she wants out of life.  I think that if she has a dream, or if any child for that matter has a dream, that that should become their goal.  The child and family of the child should make the necessary sacrifices to achieve that goal and make that dream come true.  You have one life to live, and so it is my purpose here on earth to make sure this little girl gets to learn all of her ballet dance positions.  That she understands basic French. That she gets to plie, to releve, and to saute and that she smiles with enjoyment and is graceful performing.  It's never hard work if you love what you do, it's fun.  It's the best time of the day.

Thank you for reading.  Hopefully, in the future, I will be able to post videos of her dance.  I'm sure it will be fabulous.  I cannot wait to see how Nicole turns out as a ballerina.

Love,
Lissa